Thursday, November 25, 2010 Written by Brian Anderson
Zoroaster
Matador (2010)
Brian Anderson

Zoroaster isn't known for their impeccable musicianship, nor for disgustingly heavy parts... Fuck it, to be honest, I know them for tactful lights, oppressive smoke machines, impressive merch displays, and a few head banging dirt-metal riffs at volumes that would make your grandmother wet again. Don't expect any P.A. to hold weight with the retarded amount of power this band brings. After listening to their new album, it's obvious why this band tries to drown out whatever vocals written.

Matador is fucking terrible. This is the worst Zoroaster album. Any fan of this band, no matter how much you try to excuse whatever, knows deep down, this band is falling the fuck off.

I have done many drugs to this band, enjoyed awesome live performances, and have a deep respect for them, but holy shit. Seriously? It's like they've given up. Adult Swim might bring a nice influx of listeners, and that compilation had some good bands (and more throw-aways)... But lay off the pseudo progressive psychedelic bullshit and just go back to playing simple, heavy, dirt-metal. The softer stuff flat out sucks.

D.N.R. starts out steady, but quickly pisses itself out with stupid lyrics and weak guitar effects or "solos." I really don't understand what the hell this band is thinking. Tripping out on DMT is beautiful, I understand, but you need to do more to pull your "audience" in.

Ancient Ones does start off very strong. If they would have kept this shit up, eh. Then it just quits, and goes into lazy slaw. As a fan of doom-metal, I understand dragging shit out, but you've got to have a base. The middle of this song picks up nicely, then swamps right back into the same cookie-cutter bologna.

Odyssey, again, starts off very strong, and then trails off into mediocre. I am starting to pick up the pattern this band has mysteriously set down for the listener. Chant at me, and mix it to where I can't even understand your chants, because that's the best way to get your art and chants across. No.

Trident reeks of Mastodon, and is catchy, but at this point I want to stop writing about this. No riffs in sight.

Firewater tries to bring in good electronic noise, but again, the lack of riffs and anything memorable what-so-ever makes me want to turn this off. God damn it.

Old World back to the same shit. I give up. Phoned in. You listen to the rest, and if you have enjoyed this band's previous works, and can honestly say this holds up, you're a lying piece of shit. And you know it deep down.

Black Hole is the best song on this album. I want a whole album of that. You can't blame drugs for phoning everything in.

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